Badshah Says Watching His Parents Grow Old Is Painful Psychologist Explains Why

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Rapper Badshah recently spoke about this often-unspoken experience during an appearance on Chai with T, describing the emotional shift that comes with seeing parents age. “It’s painful,” he said. “Aapko bahut bura lagta hai jab aap dekhte ho ki aapke papa aapko daant nahi rahe” (It feels terrible when you realise your father is no longer scolding you), he shared.

Reflecting on how his perspective has changed with age, Badshah added, as children, we wondered why our parents scolded us; now it feels strange that they don’t anymore. Similarly, when parents begin seeking advice from their children or start relying on them in ways they never did before, the feeling is new.

Recalling conversations with his mother, he said she now asks, “Do minute free hai?” (Are you free for two minutes?).

“Darawani cheez hai bahut” (It’s a very scary thing), he admitted.

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According to Saikishore, Clinical Psychologist at Aster Whitefield Hospital, the pain is deeply rooted in the way we view our parents throughout childhood.

“From childhood, we build our entire sense of safety and identity around the image of our parents as strong, certain, and in control. When that image slowly begins to shift — when they start asking us for advice, seeking our reassurance, or simply saying ‘do you have two minutes?’ before calling — it triggers a quiet but profound disruption inside us,” he explains.

The difficult part is that what we feel during this transition is rarely just sadness.

“What we experience in that moment is not one emotion but several tangled together — sadness, fear, guilt, tenderness, and a kind of grief that is hard to explain because the person we are grieving is still right in front of us,” says Saikishore.

Psychologists call this “ambiguous loss” — grieving someone who is physically present but gradually changing before our eyes.

The experience can also force us to confront something many of us spend years avoiding: the realisation that our parents are mortal. According to the expert, this awareness quietly reminds us of our own mortality too, making the experience even more emotionally complex.

Interestingly, one of the most powerful parts of Badshah’s reflection was his longing for the scoldings he once disliked.

“The ‘telling off’ he endured and maybe even disobeyed stood, without his knowledge, as a metaphor of parental power, security, and unconditional affection. Not having it doesn’t feel like liberation; it feels more like losing something precious,” says Saikishore.

As painful as parental ageing can be, it can also transform relationships. The expert notes that many parent-child bonds eventually evolve into more equal relationships, where love is no longer assumed but consciously expressed.

“The uneasiness we experience is not a signal of weakness. In fact, it is the most unmistakable indication of the extent to which we have been bonded, and how much our parents have always been significant to us,” he says.

Perhaps that’s why Badshah’s words resonated with so many people. They capture a truth many adults eventually learn: while growing older is inevitable, the time we have with our parents is not.

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