Fathers Day 2026 Psychiatrist Explains Why Fathers Stay Emotionally Closed When To Consider Therapy Tips Mental Health

We asked Dr Hemendra Singh, associate professor, department of psychiatry at MS Ramaiah Medical College and Hospitals, Bengaluru, to explain why men suppress their emotions, how emotional distress may show up in men, and how one can recognise the signs. As children, it is also important to understand that fathers may not always express their struggles openly, but that does not mean they do not care, support, and provide emotional space.

Before we address why fathers may be emotionally reserved, it is important to understand why bottling up emotions often becomes second nature for many men, which shows up later in their family with the characteristic stoic nature. According to the psychiatrist, this generally originates from societal conditioning, where boys are taught from a young age to appear strong, stay quiet and avoid showing vulnerability.

“Growing up, boys absorb countless subtle signals to keep their struggles private. Phrases like ‘man up’ or 'don't let them see you cry', or ‘are you a baby’ might sound harmless in the moment, but the message underneath is clear: showing emotion is a vulnerability you simply cannot afford," Dr Singh said, suggesting that normalised phrases which teach boys from childhood that any kind of vulnerability is unacceptable.

As they grow older, they internalise this message, which shapes how they react to emotions, handle stress and interact in relationships. The concern here, as the doctor too highlighted, is that ordinary human experiences that cause sadness, anxiety or self-doubt may be taken personally and seen as character flaws.

Fathers are generally very emotionally guarded, restrained and sometimes in extreme cases even emotionally unavailable. But this too happens because of conditioning where society thrusts the role on them. The psychiatrist called this the role of a fixer. "

“Men are almost universally conditioned to be the fixers, in their families, in their friendships, at work. When something goes wrong, the reflex is to skip straight to solutions and action. That instinct isn't bad; it genuinely helps men get things done. But it also has a cost, because it completely bypasses the emotional aftermath of stressful events and becomes a barrier to help-seeking.” Now, this habit of pushing emotions aside can fester. Instead of acknowledging their feelings, men usually jump right into problem-solving mode. While this solution-oriented mindset helps them manage responsibilities, it also comes at the cost of burnout and emotional exhaustion. The psychiatrist actually sternly warned that some may eventually reach a point where they no longer know ‘what’s going on inside them' anymore.

Men rarely signal emotional distress through obvious sadness or tears. So, the way they express their emotional discomfort may be different. Dr Singh outlined a few signs that may signal that it is worth considering therapy:

Family members can work together to help fathers become more emotionally open. While stoicism may come from a lifelong habit of emotional silence, small, deliberate steps taken consistently can help them move forward. Here are a few practical tips Dr Singh shared with us:

Parting advice from the expert is to practice self-awareness and recognise when it is time to seek help. It can be stubborn and damaging to hold on to outdated myths about strength and resilience, especially the idea that fathers must quietly endure pain. Seeking help can improve emotional regulation and make it easier to cope with stress in healthier ways.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.